WRITTEN INTO HIS STORY

Not a Christmas post really

2011-12-23T13:52:00.004-08:00

Lately, I have been overwhelmed by the amazing grace & unconditional love of God. When I say overwhelmed, I really mean that. Overwhelmed to the point of weeping anywhere at any time. I have been so aware of my need of Him. Seeing in myself what others (other than my unbelievably faithful husband) maybe never see. The side that is spiteful, angry, out of control, fearful, selfish, un-disciplined & very, very weak. I don't feel victorious most days. I don't feel like an overcomer either. But, the greatest, most incredible thing about the love of God is that our victory is NEVER based on our feeling. I am not an overcomer because I have done anything to overcome. He has done it all. He has made me worthy in his Son.
When I look around at all that He has given me, I can't believe it. I have a husband who loves me and leads me gently into the arms of Jesus. I have a son, a miracle who was such a precious gift that we thought we would never receive. When I look at my family, my friends, my home...all that I have is because I have a Father who loves me, in spite of me. I have done nothing and can never do anything to receive it. He has given freely the very best to lavish on us, who are so undeserving. He is extravagant, abundant, generous, abounding, & sufficient!
This Christmas, and always, I hope more than ever, that you know how much you are loved by God. Just as you are.

"For I am persuaded beyond doubt that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

He carries me

2011-10-27T11:15:00.003-07:00

There are many things that I believe to be true. I believe that God is strong. He is faithful. He keeps all His promises. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides. He is my healer, my ever present Help in times of trouble.
I know these things to be true, but sometimes, I'm learning, that God takes us through the darkest of valleys where we face weakness, disease, lack & trouble, so that He can be who He says He is!
We are currently in the thick of a very, very hard time. Sometimes, it takes all my strength just to set my feet on the floor each morning. To keep my eyes on Him and not on His hand. He says that 'He will be faithful to complete the work He began in us.' I must believe this!

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory."- Romans 8:17

p.s. please pray for us.

Determined

2011-01-27T10:13:00.003-08:00

This year WILL be one for change. Every year I post all the things I "hope" to do. This year there will be no excuse. I will get healthy. I will get organized. I will be more efficient, faithful, disciplined & effective. That is all.

Step 1) Walking 2 times a week (starting at 30 min) & doing BL Bootcamp once a week (increasing to 3 walks @ 60 minutes & BL Bootcamp twice a week)

Step 2) PURGE!!! Get rid of unnecessary possessions (beauty products, art supplies, magazines, etc...)

Step 3) Get Step 1 & 2 into play before adding more steps!

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T22:44:00.004-07:00

"It is a good father who wants to make his son like himself.
It is an great father who wants to make his son like Jesus."

Happy Fathers Day Mark!
I can't wait to be a part of the journey of parenthood with you.
I'm so excited to watch you become Finley's hero!
You are going to be the best Dad ever!
I love you!

I can't wait....

2010-05-20T17:42:00.004-07:00

I know this is very premature, but I can't help myself. I am so excited to have a homeschool/preschool/playroom for Finn. Here are some awesome ones that found:

Trip Time

2010-05-14T16:29:00.005-07:00

Well, we leave in 7 more sleeps! I'm so excited! Its going to be a great time with family & friends!

I hope to get in a little shopping at

to pick up some clothing for the whole family

to find a car seat

to pick up some funky baby items

and if I'm really lucky, we might stop in here....

Random Update :)

2010-05-02T21:53:00.014-07:00

Hi everyone! This will probably be a boring update...so I apologize in advance.

Upcoming craft /art projects:
-putting up polka dot decals I got for Finn's room
-putting up wall quote (see further down post)
-painting a canvas trio & trying a new medium (glass bead gel) which I'm so excited for...I will post pics when I complete it. :)
-getting some prints done for a family tree collage (well, its technically only pictures of Mark & I as babies, then when Finn is born, we will put pics of him in the middle...hard to explain...but i will post those pics as well)

This is what I've been reading (The Mark of the Lion Trilogy by Francine Rivers)

This is what I'm reading next:

This is the hair color I'm getting after Finn arrives:

We are awaiting the arrival of this wall decal for Finn's room:

I got some pretty cool stuff when we went to PG for a couple days. This is one of my favorite things:

I'm in the midst of making a birth plan & booklet for my birth team (Mark, Mom, Leah) :) which is super exciting!
There is so much information out there, and I really want my "team" to be excited, ready and educated too! I will post my plan later (but on the baby blog) :)

So in Love...

2010-04-14T23:09:00.005-07:00

Somethings changed. I can't say when or how. But it has. I'm in love...all over again!
Maybe it was the moment I found out I was pregnant, maybe it was slow and gradual.
But, I really have fallen in love with Mark all over again...as a Father. Thinking about him as a Daddy makes my heart melt! I get teary when I think about him holding our son in his arms, telling him about heroes & redemption stories. Its as if my heart has been captivated all over again and it feels like I could burst. I really never imagined I could love someone like I love Mark. He is more than I ever expected to have in a husband and he is going to be one incredible father!

picture:
http://www.mariannetaylorphotography.co.uk/

2010-03-22T09:58:00.003-07:00

Its hard to think of things to say when there is so much you want to say but can't. I'm doing great. Baby is great. Mark is great.

And then there are the other things. Please pray for us. Pray that we will glorify the Father in the midst of trial. We want Him to be lifted up. Not our ideas, opinions, feelings or fears of man. He deserves the honor & praise. In times like this, fear would like to grip us and make us silent. But we want to stand like Daniel. We don't want to compromise.

This is where character & strength is revealed.
In fire.

I just realized....

2010-03-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

that I haven't linked this blog to our pregnancy blog....

http://expectingmiracle.blogspot.com/

Running....

2010-03-09T11:26:00.003-08:00

Lately, I've been thinking about running. I don't know why. But every commercial I watch seems to be something to do with running. My friends are posting on facebook about going for runs. And it goes on and on. So naturally, its on my mind. I then began to think about going through trials and brokenness.
You know that statement 'There are two kinds of people in the world'?
I really think thats true.
There are people who run to God and there are those that run from Him. When facing hurt, brokenness, trials or hardship, some press into God, run to Him for comfort, guidance, healing & restoration. Others blame Him, get angry with Him, make assumptions about Him and run away.
I want to be the first of those. I want to grab a hold of Him when I don't understand. I want to kneel at His feet when I am discouraged, hurting & broken and find wholeness in His presence. I want to run hard into His arms, knowing that He is the safest, most trustworthy place on earth that I can be.

You are tagged...

2010-03-02T14:06:00.002-08:00

What I'm up to...

2010-03-01T09:04:00.006-08:00

What I'm Reading (other than baby books & bible):

Around the house:

Decluttering & downsizing our house. Getting rid of books, dvd's, music, clothes, and STUFF!!

Planning Baby Room

Planning our May trip to the Island (which I'm 'slightly' excited about!)

Unredeemed

2010-02-24T19:12:00.004-08:00

One of the best songs I have EVER heard....EVER! Wow!

'Unredeemed' (click on Title)

The cruelest world
The coldest heart
The deepest wound
The endless dark
The lonely ache
The burning tears
The bitter nights
The wasted years

Life breaks and falls apart
But we know these are
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

For every choice that led to shame
And all the love that never came
For every vow that someone broke
And every lie that gave up hope
We live in the shadow of the fall
But the cross says these are all
Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But when anything that's shattered is laid before the Lord
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

Places where grace is soon to be so amazing
It may be unfulfilled
It may be unrestored
But you never know the miracle the Father has in store
Just watch and see
It will not be
Just watch and see
It will not be unredeemed

2010-02-04T18:52:00.005-08:00

Hey everyone! Well, if you somehow haven't heard (this I will find shocking, because my mother tells perfect strangers on the street)....you might not have heard the craziest and most incredible news of our year....

WE ARE

PREGNANT!!!!!

We are so full of joy and amazement! This is an answer to many years of prayer from many people who have heard our story and committed to praying for a miracle!
It is such a celebration for everyone who hears, partly because we have been pretty open about our infertility, so most people know that this is no ordinary thing!
One thing that Mark said after we found out was 'Not one prayer was unanswered. God heard every single one, and was storing them up for his perfect time!'
God is so amazing!

I haven't been updating much because we started a pregnancy blog for our friends and family to follow.
You can find us here!

We want to thank everyone who has thought, prayed for, encouraged & hugged us over our 8 year wait. We are so grateful for you! And we can't wait to share our blessing when it comes!

2010-01-07T12:34:00.002-08:00

you know when you have those moments, those life-changing moments? those moments that radically shift your thinking and set you down a different path. one of those moments happened today.

i just finished my biggest loser bootcamp workout, and was just checking my facebook before i hopped in the shower. michelle aguilar (winner of biggest loser season 6) had updated. a while back, she had filmed a clip for the website 'i am second'. i watched the video again, and something broke in me. she said in the video that God began to strip her of her armor, which was her smile, and really make her face her battles. she said at the end, "when i came to the finale, i wasn't the same person who had started this journey. the scale would not define me, my weight would not define me, but all along, God was defining me!" something turned on in me.
and now that i can finally see through the tears, i am here to say.....

the scale will not define me
my weight will not define me
my insecurities will not define me
what i can do or not do will not define me
what i look like will not define me
impressing everyone will not define me

i will be defined by Jesus Christ. i will be defined in Him alone, because its in Him, that i have been made whole! i am a conqueror, because thats who He is in me!

Portion Guide

2010-01-06T18:17:00.004-08:00

Vegetables from all colors of the rainbow are an important part of a healthy diet. A serving of cooked veggies is half a cup, or about the size of a baseball.

A one-cup serving of pasta or rice should be about the size of a tennis ball. You'll fill up faster on a serving of grains if you choose healthy whole grains whenever possible.

It takes about 850 peanuts to produce an 18-once jar of peanut butter, so a little of the stuff packs a powerful protein punch. Two tablespoons, about the size of a ping pong ball, is an appropriate serving size.

Don't go for a cartoon-sized stack of flapjacks – one compact disc-sized pancake is the recommended serving size.

One serving of meat is about three ounces, roughly the size of a deck of cards.

Dried fruit keeps longer than fresh fruit, but it also has 4 to 5 times the calories by weight. One serving of dried fruit is about 1/4 cup, or about the size of a large egg or golf ball.

A few cheese cubes and some fruit is the perfect mini-meal between lunch and dinner. To make sure you're noshing on the right amount, roll some dice. A serving of cheese is one ounce, or the size of six dice.

When not covered in cheese and sour cream, potatoes aren't hard on the waistline and are high in potassium and vitamins C and B6. A perfectly portioned baked potato should be about the size of a computer mouse.

Taken from The Food Network

A Coincidence....I think NOT!

2010-01-05T13:57:00.004-08:00

There are two themes in this blog entry. Thyroid & Glyciemic Index. I hope this isn't a long post, but please stick with me, cause its pretty incredible.
When I was 18, I went with my friend to the naturopath. He told me that I had a thyroid problem, whether it was under or over functioning, I can't really remember. I almost promptly disregarded that information, and continued on with life. A few years later, during my first year of marriage, a lady told me that she was pretty sure I had a thyroid problem (she could tell by my eyes) and that i should start taking Kelp, because my body was lacking iodine. So, I bought a bottle of Kelp supplements and took them till the bottle was half gone and then almost as promptly disregarded it. Fast forward a couple years to the time Mark and I are doing my fertility treatments with the specialist. The Doctor tells me that the best way for me to lose weight and increase the chances of conceiving is to go on something called the G.I. Diet (Glyciemic Index Diet). I nodded and agreed and like everything else, almost promptly disregarded. Moving on to the present, yesterday I had an doctors appointment and the doctor told me that...amazingly enough...my thyroid was over producing a hormone that was causing another more serious condition. Well, that was shock enough. But then, today I went for coffee with a friend, who on Sunday told me that she had something she felt to share with me.
So, today, she shares that she has battled some illnesses and treated them with natural supplements and by...wait for it....the G.I. Diet. Now, some may say that this is all a incredible coincidence. But I see more. This year, I prayed that God would show me all the things in my health that I needed to get in check so that I could lose weight, get healthy and live the life that I was meant to live! So, patient as He is, reminded me, once again of the things that he has been trying to tell me for a decade! He is so faithful! This has made me so excited for what this year holds. Pray for me this year. Pray that I don't almost promptly disregard the things that I need to do. That I have the determination and tenacity to follow through, press forward and have real success. I don't want food, weight, sickness, deficiencies or allergies to rule my life. I want to have these things under control, so that I can be free!

So its going to be....

2010-01-04T13:32:00.002-08:00

...a little of everything! I've figured that you've all stuck with me this long, and you've been an incredible encouragement to me. This year is going to be full of adventures, challenges & changes. And I think I will just tell you about them as they come. Whatever I'm feeling at that time, I will let you know. A few things that I'm really excited about is teaching myself to cook more, learning to crochet, knit & sew and planting a small veggie & herb garden! These things I will definitely be posting about. So, thats that. Let it begin!!!!:)

What will the New Year Bring

2010-01-03T16:56:00.002-08:00

I want this year to be better than previous years in blogland, so will you help me?
I want to know if I should change things up a bit...pick 12 themes, make each month focused on something in particular, or do certain days of the week be designated for something (example: June is Food Month or Wednesdays is Weird Fact Day etc....) or something like that.
I'm open for any suggestions!
Let me know what you think?? :)

2009-12-31T08:10:00.003-08:00

The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective.
~G.K. Chesterton

2010

2009-12-30T08:54:00.002-08:00

Well, I looked back here to my 2009 New Year Ambitions. And although I accomplished lots on that list, as with most resolutions, there were some that I never got to. So, how will 2010 be different? Well, instead of 20 ambitions, I'm going to aim for 10 ambitions and 10 bonuses. Here they are, in no particular order. (Some will be re-occuring from last year)

:
1. Read through the bible (using this plan)
2. Get fit with Mark (we are working on a food and exercise plan, which I will post soon)
3. Master the gluten free lifestyle
4. Finish at least 50% of my doula certification
5. Make all baby/wedding/birthday gifts.
6. Re-do our bedroom for under $100
7. Learn the ropes of being coupon savvy.
8. Grow a legitimate Veg/Herb garden (using this as my guide)
9. Learn more guitar chords
10. Get more talent in the kitchen

:
1. Learn to crochet/knit/sew
2. Make my family new christmas stockings
3. Order online or make all gifts for next christmas before December
4. Read more books from all genres
5. Get a full, real photoshoot with Mark and I.
6. Get my doula bag accessories (most found here)
7. Make book reading plan (trying to expand my horizons...lol...classics, non-fiction, etc...)
8. Make a Valentines "20 Ways We Make Our Marriage Work" video with Mark
9. Go Camping
10. Go to to K-Town to visit family & friends more!

Our Christmas

2009-12-27T17:00:00.003-08:00

Well, our christmas was awesome! Christmas eve was spent with our new-ish extended family at their house, where we had SO MUCH food and played the funniest game of Balderdash ever! Then we went back to my parents and opened up our PJ's and one other gift. Then we headed to bed (around 2 or 3). The next day, we opened our gifts, had an incredible breakfast (GF waffles, sausage, eggs, bacon..YUMM!), then Leah & Ryan headed up to Ryan's family's to open gifts with them. So, Dad, Mom, Mark & I went for a walk around the neighborhood...it was beautiful! Then we came home and played Logos (one of my gifts) and then Ryan, Leah & Ryan's family came over for Christmas Dinner...which was AMAZING!!!!! Then we all hung out and played games.
It was a great christmas!! Hope yours was too!

2009-12-24T10:00:00.004-08:00

May you find the Joy of Jesus this Christmas and that the
Light of the Word is your reason for celebration!

Be Blessed!!!
See you in 2010!

Christmas Recipes

2009-12-23T13:59:00.006-08:00

These are the things that I am making tomorrow for my contribution to the Christmas Eve appies & Christmas Dinner:

Cheesy Corn Bites

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
1 cup shredded pepper jack cheese
1 large egg
1/2 cup frozen corn kernels
48 scoop-shaped tortilla chips (one 10-ounce bag)
Chopped chives or cilantro, for sprinkling

Preheat the oven to 350°. In a large bowl, mix the cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, egg and corn.
2. Arrange the chips on a large rimmed baking sheet and place 1 teaspoon corn mixture in each. Bake until the filling sets, about 20 minutes.
3. Sprinkle the corn bites with the chives; serve warm.

Flourless Chocolate Cake

4 (1 ounce) squares semisweet chocolate, chopped
1/2 cup butter
3/4 cup white sugar
1/2 cup cocoa powder
3 eggs, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C). Grease an 8 inch round cake pan, and dust with cocoa powder.

In the top of a double boiler over lightly simmering water, melt chocolate and butter. Remove from heat, and stir in sugar, cocoa powder, eggs, and vanilla. Pour into prepared pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Slices can also be reheated for 20 to 30 seconds in the microwave before serving.

Honey Garlic Sticky Wings

24 chicken wings, split and tips discarded
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
5 cloves garlic, minced
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger root
2 1/2 cups water
5 tablespoons honey
1/4 cup reduced-sodium soy sauce
3 tablespoons cornstarch
3/4 cup water

Preheat an oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Arrange the chicken wings on a baking sheet; bake until crisp, 35 to 45 minutes. Transfer the wings to a baking dish.
Mix together the brown sugar, garlic, ginger, 2 1/2 cups water, honey, and soy sauce in a saucepan over medium-high heat; bring to a boil. Whisk together the cornstarch and 3/4 cup water in a small bowl; stir into the sauce mixture until thickened; pour over the chicken wings to coat.
Return wings to oven and bake until the sauce is bubbling and the chicken is no longer pink at the bone and the juices run clear, 15 to 20 minutes.

Broccoli Salad

8 slices bacon
1 large head broccoli, cut into florets
1 cup mayo
2 tblsp.vinegar
1/4 cup sugar
small handful of slivered almonds, toasted
small handful of sunflower seeds
1/2 cup raisins

Fry bacon until crispy, drain grease and set aside.Cut up broccoli flowerettes into bite-sized pieces, leaving just a little stem. Cut up enough for about 4 cups of flowerettes. Mix vinegar sugar & mayo in seperate bowl. Add to broccoli. Mix in nuts, raisins, & bacon. Serve.

Hot Mushroom dip

2 tbps butter
1 minced garlic clove
3 cups chopped fresh white mushrooms
8oz block cream cheese cut into 8 pieces
1/2 tsp seasoning salt
1/2 tsp dill weed
Heavy sprinkle freshly ground pepper
1 1/2 cups pre-grated Jack cheese (plain or with Jalepeno if you like spice)
1/2 cup real mayo
Sliced mushrooms and chopped scallions for garnish.

Melt butter in large frying pan on medium. Add onion, garlic and chopped mushrooms. Cook for about 10 minutes until liquid is evaprated and mushrooms are golden. Remove from heat.
Add next 4 ingredients. Stil until cream cheese is melted.
Add Jack cheese and mayo. Mix well. Spread in ungreased 9in pie plate or shallow casserole (side note - PC Stone works great cause it keeps it warmer for longer). Bake in 350 oven for about 30 minutes until heated through.
Sprinkle with sliced mushrooms and chopped scallions.

"For my eyes have seen..."

2009-12-20T16:42:00.007-08:00

This in one of my all time favorite pieces of art. And every christmas, I think of it again & again.
The story is of Simeon....

Luke 2- "When the time of their purification according to the Law of Moses had been completed, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord..."Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord", and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: "a pair of doves or two young pigeons." Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:

"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you now dismiss your servant in peace.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel."

The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. "

There are 2 things that I LOVE about this passage...

1. Mary and Joseph brought the poor mans offering (a pair of doves or pigeons) and yet they had the sacrifice that would redeem the world!

2. When Simeon held the baby Jesus in his arms, he says, " For my eyes have seen your salvation!"

Imagine Simeon growing up, hearing the stories and songs of a Deliverer that was coming! That there would be a Redeemer that would change history, that would blot out sin & take the penalty of death in his place!

Then imagine holding out for the possibility that you might see him ("waiting for the consolation of Israel") And right before you die, you hold that Redeemer in your arms.

Ron Dicianni perfectly captured what I think Simeon might have looked like as he held Jesus in His arms, totally in awe....His Savior had come!

2009-12-17T01:29:00.002-08:00

Its so bizarre. This year I'm having to force myself into the Christmas Spirit. And by the Christmas Spirit, I mean the frantic, shopping/wrapping/decorating/baking madness that usually comes naturally and promptly on Nov.1st. I still love this time of year. I love the focus of family, the emphasis on blessing others & the celebration of our Saviour. It is not because I am sad, depressed or oozing 29 yr. old angst, which I'm not (i know, shocker!! ). I just feel on the outside looking in this year. I know, so bizarre, right? I am excited to give the gifts, excited to be with my family and have fun, but something seems a bit off. Any thoughts on this weird phenomenon?

Projects & Wrapping...

2009-12-12T21:51:00.007-08:00

These are my projects for next year:

These are a few things I am doing this year for my gift wrapping....

p.s. I posted the link for our Anniversary Blog! :)

2009-12-09T22:14:00.004-08:00

"Precious in His sight, is the death of His saints"- Psalm 116:15

This is my grandma, who went "Home" yesterday at the age of 89.
She was a single mother to my dad & his older brother and sister.
She faithfully played bridge.
She loved the unloveable, which manifested in her taking in single moms, rejects, addicts etc... often and caring for them.
She was independant, honorable, educated, hard working.
She had the most beautiful hands. I used to sit on her lap when I was little, and I would run my fingers over her hands, following the wrinkles and veins, as she sang, Toora-Loora-Loo-Ral.
She wanted the best for her family.
She loved her grandchildren.
She raised a son, who became the best father.

I miss you already!

2009-12-08T00:18:00.003-08:00

Have you ever thought that you wanted something so bad that you thought you would die if you couldn't have it. Or that you were somehow overlooked.

Thats how I've been most of my marriage. I thought that if I didn't get pregnant that somehow I would cease to exist. That the right of passage into real womanhood was conceiving and having a perfect little family!

I was very, very wrong.

This is one of the most difficult posts I have ever written.

I'm struggling even now to put words together.

Please bear with me....

I have been selfish & completely consumed with getting my own way. I have shook my fist at God so many times, that I am embarrassed to put a number down. I have walked around with the attitude that somehow God owed me something. And then when it didn't happen, I searched every part of my life to find the thing that God was punishing me for. I have become severely insecure about having a baby. I have grieved at others joy. I have felt jealousy, anger, bitterness & hopelessness. I have walked around in this little bubble and caused all who love me to feel they need to walk with trepidation for fear of me becoming a hysterical mess. I have cared more about my own feelings, than of everyones around me.

I am ashamed.

I am so sorry to you who've treaded lightly in telling me or not rejoiced in front of me because of being pregnant or wanting a baby.
I am so sorry to you who've come to encourage me, and I have secretly been offended with you.
I am so sorry that I have held resentment against so many people who have just wanted to love me through this time.

"...all things work together for good."

We are walking through a dark, lonely, & frightening valley right now that is infinitely harder than infertility has ever been. It seems to choke the life from our bodies, to suck the air from our lungs & when we begin to stand, it beats us within an inch of death. God has a plan, but right now, we cannot see it.

"...faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

Today I told God (more than once), 'I would give up my womb forever if you would....'

But, again, my view of God is wrong. Maybe somehow I can make a sacrafice that would make Him change His mind?

I am, because He is! He is the God of promises, of miracles! He is the God who is faithful when I am not, forgives when I don't, heals when I don't deserve it & made the only sacrafice that was needed. I am whole, not because I may someday be a mother, not because I can gain His acceptance and be shown favor because of my great achievements. Not because I have anything worth saving, but because I am HIS! He has rescued me from the grave. He has adopted me, redeemed me, changed me & transformed me!

But He is also the God of the valley. He is the God who refines with fire. He crushes so that fragrance will come. When I came to Him, He promised to not leave me the way I was. And now, I question His work.

"...Does the clay say to the potter, 'What are you making?' "

I don't know why its so hard to trust Him. You'd think surrendering to an omnipotent, omniscient God would be easier. Yet, here I am with a death grip on the reins.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers,
They will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze...For I am the LORD, your God"

I can walk wherever He leads. Not because I have what it takes. But because He is all I need!

Even as I wrote this, a verse that a beautiful friend shared with us rang again in my heart,

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."-1 Corinthians 4:18

Thanks for reading, thanks for loving me through my ups and downs, through my craziness, valleys & mountain tops. And most of all, thanks for pointing me to the One who gets me better than anyone!

Early Gifts

2009-12-04T01:22:00.003-08:00

I have received a few presents already...and I wanted to share them...

From the Penner Family....the coolest book of lists...that you fill in yourself....kind of like a diary in list form...and for anyone who knows me, this is the coolest thing ever.

From Sarena...which made me cry...the first line of the book...."Once upon a time there was a kangaroo with an empty pouch" ...you can imagine the rest...its beautiful!

And my doula bag arrived in the mail...complete with "Doula" monogrammed on the pocket...I will take a picture of the bag soon...I'm filling it slowly with all my good stuff! :)

Thank you girls for the gifts....they were a blessing! Love you!

Just wondering....

2009-12-02T00:56:00.002-08:00

Is it possible to be ecstatic and devastated at the same time? If it is, then I am.

Wowee

2009-11-25T14:05:00.005-08:00

I have been eating

(no wheat, barley, rye or oats)
for almost 3 mths.
Now, this has not been completely faithfully (sometimes by choice, sometimes by accident), because its super hard to change to that lifestyle. But I would say for the most part it has been gluten free.

Whenever I used to stand on the

I would feel like this...

But more and more I feel like this...

Cause I've lost 16 lbs. already!!!! This is crazy because it hasn't been a huge change in portions, but just taking out what my body really didn't like, has made it respond VERY WELL!!!! (And I don't have to memorize the fastest route to the bathroom at every destination!!!)

For your viewing pleasure ;) ...this is a 16 lb. Turkey!!!!
I've lost an entire turkey!!

Being a life-saving change, it has been much easier than saying, 'NO MORE SWEETS!' or 'NO WHITE SUGAR!' (not that those things aren't a good idea, but are so hard to stick to).

Info:
Celiac disease or Gluten Allergy/Intolerance is a digestive disease that damages the small intestine and interferes with absorption of nutrients from food. People who have celiac disease cannot tolerate gluten, a protein in wheat, rye, and barley and occasionally oat. Gluten is found mainly in foods but may also be found in everyday products such as medicines, vitamins, and lip balms. When people with celiac disease eat foods or use products containing gluten, their immune system responds by damaging or destroying villi—the tiny, fingerlike protrusions lining the small intestine. Villi normally allow nutrients from food to be absorbed through the walls of the small intestine into the bloodstream. Without healthy villi, a person becomes malnourished, no matter how much food one eats. Celiac disease is both a disease of malabsorption—meaning nutrients are not absorbed properly—and an abnormal immune reaction to gluten. Celiac disease is also known as celiac sprue, nontropical sprue, and gluten-sensitive enteropathy. Celiac disease is genetic, meaning it runs in families. Sometimes the disease is triggered—or becomes active for the first time—after surgery, pregnancy, childbirth, viral infection, or severe emotional stress.

Symptoms of Celiac Disease and/or Gluten Allergy:

abdominal bloating and pain
chronic diarrhea
vomiting
constipation
pale, foul-smelling, or fatty stool
weight loss or gain
unexplained iron-deficiency anemia
fatigue
bone or joint pain
arthritis
bone loss or osteoporosis
depression or anxiety
tingling numbness in the hands and feet
seizures
missed menstrual periods
infertility or recurrent miscarriage
canker sores inside the mouth
an itchy skin rash called dermatitis herpetiformis

Christmas is almost here!!!

2009-11-16T11:55:00.010-08:00

Well, its officially after Nov.11th, so that means we can talk about all things Christmas!
Things I am looking forward to....

Mandarin Oranges & Eggnog (though not together)

Reading this and watching this with my family

Giving gifts!! I DO get excited about receiving them, but I seriously get butterflies when I give a gift to someone, when its that extra special gift!

Curling up & Reading by the fireplace!

Playing games with friends & family!

Laughing...ok, I know I do this a lot anyway, but at Christmas, its even better;)

Decorating & Baking!

Wish List

2009-11-02T09:18:00.014-08:00

This is the gift I just ordered for myself!! It is the "Lands End Do-It-All Diaper Bag"! No, I'm not pregnant, but I wanted a very functional bag for when I start my doula duties..lol! There is a lot of stuff that I want to be able to fit in there, so I'm really excited! And this is the best one for the price! And I'm even getting it monogrammed!! YESS!!!!!

Misc.:

Any color Amber Ring

Diamond Scrabble

'Grass' by the Gap (90's perfume that I LOVE)

Books:

Doula Tools & Accessories:

Lands End Do-it-all Diaper Bag (to carry all my gear)

Omni Massage Roller

Labor Links

This is mostly for Mark (to help with ideas)

2009-10-26T01:19:00.002-07:00

20 years ago:
1. I moved to Terrace & was absolutely devastated to leave my best friend, Kristin.
2. Was a tom boy in every respect...bmx, tree climbing, mostly all boy friends (and no boyfriends...lol)
3. Lived in Prince George (my birthplace) and had a 1 yr. miracle baby sister!

10 years ago:
1. I went on a trip to Africa...which was incredible!
2. I spent the summer mostly with Sirena
3. I met Mark and my life changed forever!

5 years ago:
1. I miscarried.
2. I babysat a beautiful little girl
3. Lived in a 3 bdr. house with an caterpillar infested tree in the front yard, that made for hilarious viewing when visitors came to the house (imagine full body flailing & yelping...awesome!)

3 years ago:
1. I started Blogging
2. We had a crazy-fun ladies retreat....Carmen & Christy: "You take care!!"
3. We went to Disneyland!

1 year ago:
1. I decided that I absolutely was going to be a doula!
2. We had a lot of fun with the Wiebes & a shop-vac at Christmas.
3. We got the internet.

So far this year:
1. God has taken me through the fire, faithfully refining me.
2. I began the reading for my course, beginning with Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn...Wow!!
3. I travelled to Montreal & Toronto and had an amazing time!

Yesterday I:
1. Kept packing & had a meeting & got a massage!
2. Made about 4 or 5 lists.
3. Had 'Cheers' song stuck in my head

Today I:
1. Went to church and spent time with some of my favorite people!
2. Went for lunch with friends & then went to a prayer meeting.
3. Finished Packing, Watched 'You've got Mail', and deep conditioned my hair.

Tomorrow I:
1. Will fly to Vancouver with great friends
2. Will share a hotel with those friends
3. Probably will laugh A LOT!

In the next year I:
1. Hopefully will complete my Birth Doula certificate and can go on to my Postpartum Doula.
2. Will pursue adoption
3. Want to trust God, grow in Faith, Believe in His promises, and see miracles!

2009-10-21T14:23:00.000-07:00

Point Form Update

2009-10-08T11:47:00.008-07:00

-I am going to be taking a break from
&
starting tomorrow until I get back from my course (October 9th). I need to hone my studying skills and I have TONS to read, so I want to make sure I do that well!!
I will still be checking my email every evening, so, if you need to contact me, you can through email.

-Only 17 more days till we go to see U2 and words can not contain my excitement!

-We might also see

vs.
if we can get tickets

-I am getting my hair done on Tuesday....cut & color...my hair is like straw right now!

-Mark and I started a website for our 10 yr. anniversary. Just a place where we can post ideas of what we want to do.
www.magee10years.blogspot.com
Now I know that we still have a ways to go (you can check the ticker on the website), but we are going to try and do everything from scratch. Its kind of a 'can-we-do-it?' challenge. So, we need lots of time!

-I hope you guys are well, loving the autumn & windiness (I AM!!!!) and I will be posting again after my course, with lots of fun stuff that has happened!!!

Love you!

2009-10-02T15:51:00.005-07:00

Today, I buried my face in the carpet and cried my eyes out. I cried out of loss, desperation, gratitude, and worship. I spent a long time like that. Just crying. I formed very few words and yet God saw all the things that were in my heart.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."- Romans 8:25-57

I knew I needed Him. I needed His heart. When I function on my own, I am bitter, broken & a huge mess. When I get a hold of Him, everything changes. I lean on His strength & it carries me.

"Passing through the Valley of Weeping, they make it a place of springs; the early rain also fills the pools with blessings. They go from strength to strength [increasing in victorious power]; until each of them appears before God in Zion" - Psalms 84:6

These are on repeat lately in my house:

He is infinitely greater than we can ever imagine. His love for us is beyond any on this earth. And that love is something I want to know for my whole life!

2009-09-30T23:06:00.004-07:00

Well, I know its been only one day, but I've changed my mind.

The main reason I have a blog is to encourage people. Whether its through sharing my pain, chaos & craziness of life, or through the hope, joy & purpose that I've found in my journey.
The last little while, I've lost sight of that. This summer has been packed full of hard circumstances. Fall outs with friends, false accusations, attacks on everything & everyone I value. It made me want to retreat and hide and keep my life very sacred and private.
But then today, I got a message that said I am a hope, comfort & inspiration to someone. ME??!!! That makes this all worth it. My life IS on display, whether I like it or not. I can, if I want to, hide it away or I can let it be on display. All the raw, uncut, human aspects of it. If God can use the jumbled heap of my life to speak to someone that they are not alone, then all of it is worth sharing...to anyone who may stumble across it!

The Time has Come...

2009-09-29T16:21:00.003-07:00

Well, Alas, the time has come to take my blog private. Circumstances have occurred that make it necessary. If you are a reader of this blog, please let me know through email or facebook. It will remain public for a couple more weeks so that all readers can see this post. Then, you will have to be on my list & signed into your google account to read. Sorry for the inconvenience this may cause, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!

2009-09-24T13:33:00.002-07:00

We went to the Brian Doerksen last night! So good! Here are a few of my favorites from the night:
These lines can often be found on our mirror:
'Today I choose to follow you
Today I choose to gi ve my'yes' to u
Today I choose tyo hear your voice and live
Today I choose to follow you

This one is my favorite song of ALL time..it has been my theme song since the first time I heard it:

2009-09-21T01:29:00.003-07:00

Following Clover's Lead:

I Am
29, in love, forgiven

I Want
a home of our own

I Have
an incredible husband

I Wish
I was a mommy

I Hate
that Starla is leaving me...again (I'm selfish, I know)

I Fear
most things

I Hear
God's voice through my 4:12's :)

I Search
for old books at the thrift store regularly

I Wonder
what God has in store for me

I Regret
allowing myself to fear man

I Love
that my salvation has nothing to do with my worth

I Ache
for friends who have given up

I Always
close my eyes and take a huge breathe when its windy....I LOVE IT!

I Usually
talk to Christy daily

I Am Not
impressed that one of my best friends is leaving me....did I mention that?

I Dance
goofy almost every day

I Sing
myself to sleep when I'm scared

I Never
want to get to the place where I think I can do it on my own

I Rarely
go through a day where I don't think of the faithfulness of God

I Cry
when I think about going to U2 (imagine me at the concert...OY!)

I Am Not Always
the best friend I could be

I Lose
sight of my destiny pretty easily

I'm Confused
when I replay certain situations in my mind

I Need
a kleenex (i'm sick while writing this)

I Should
go to bed now, but every time I lay down I get the dry cough

I Dream
about grizzlies all the time

Thanks to you

2009-09-18T11:30:00.004-07:00

Wow...I am so grateful for all the encouragement that you all have given me the last couple days.
Its hard when you want to pour out all the contents of your heart but don't want to make matters worse. So, you bury it deep and it festers. Just being able to share that little bit, helped heaps! And, I feel like I can carry on. Mark & I were talking about this situation, and I shared that one of my greatest fears is that people will wrongly judge me or think that I am something that I'm not because of it. And so fear crept its way in and I placed myself in a cage again. One thing that Mark said to me last night is that my true friends, the friends that really love me are the ones who will deal with my failings and believe the best about me in spite of it.
That was a huge weight lifted off me. Sometimes it takes others to put it in perspective.

Thank you again for your words! They were like a healing salve to me. :)

2009-09-17T15:31:00.002-07:00

-I am hurting
-I am angry
-I hate feeling this way
-I want to scream
-I want to hide
-I want to become a recluse and never give my heart to anyone who could break it
-I know that this is nothing compared to what my Savior went through in my place
-I will suck it up, love anyways, and forgive even when people don't ask for it.
-I will smile...soon!

Happy Birthday Leah!

2009-09-14T12:55:00.003-07:00

My Baby Sister is 22 today!
She is the first miracle I ever witnessed. My mom lost 6 babies between Leah and I, as well as had her appendix removed while she was 4 months pregnant. The fact that she is in my life still amazes me! We have walked through so much and I couldn't ask for a better sister!
I love you so much, Lolee!

20 things....

2009-09-11T12:31:00.003-07:00

When you have no time to blog, this is what to do...write it in point form to get the main things out there. Works for me!

1. Sending my registration today for my course (yahoo!!! )
2. Loving our new furniture! Thanks to Marks Dad & The Henschels!
3. Working on a new schedule
4. Praying for a miracle...well a few actually.
5. Missing friends.
6. Hurting from sleeping wrong...yet again.
7. Wishing I could go on a real holiday with Mark. Somewhere tropical or Disney-ish.
8. Hoping I can get all my pre-reading done before my course.
9. Dancing with Mark every chance I get.
10. Cooking Gluten Free...and its yummier than expected!
11. Watching Food TV! I can't get enough!
12. Reading 'Where the River Ends' and 'Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn'
13. Writing Music again....its been a long while.
14. Wrapping presents for my sisters birthday...she is almost 22!!!
15. Wanting to buy a house....but the though of it terrifies me!
16. Organizing my life, one giant pile of stuff at a time!
17. Planning my year, and wondering how to do it all.
18. Seeing my life through His eyes.
19. Trying to be me, not everyone else I want to be!
20. Keeping my eyes on Jesus while failing, falling, and flailing through life!

2009-09-05T10:23:00.005-07:00

"Obedience to the call of Christ nearly always costs everything to two people- the one who is called, and the one who loves that one."

This year has been full of alot of joy, but also a lot of hardship. If I didn't have Mark, I don't know what I'd do. He reminds me that God is my defender. He is an incredible encouragement. He knows how to lift me out of negativity and show me the Truth about my situation and who I am. There have been some things I've been walking through and God's Word has been a continual comfort to me:

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."- Romans 5:1

"Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."- Romans 8:17-19

Its a journey to come to the place where I can embrace sufferings. I know you know how I feel.
It is never easy to say, 'Bring on the pain!'...in any area. But when we can get to that place, I have a feeling that we'll see great things!!

Introducing....

2009-09-02T12:11:00.003-07:00

Ryder David
my brand new nephew!!!
Sunday, August 30th, 2009
8 lbs 3oz.

and we LOVE him already!!

Congrats to Dave & Mandi

This is David as a baby:

8 Years!

2009-08-24T23:19:00.006-07:00

August 25th, 2001 -Mr. & Mrs. Magee

'To know someone is to watch and see the dance of their life...
To love someone is to teach another your dance and accept a lesson in return...
To marry is tell the world that this persons dance is the one you want to learn for all your life.'

One movie that has been 'our' movie is Notting Hill. I can't even count how many times we've watched it. There is one scene where Julia and Hugh are sitting in Hugh's living room and talking about a painting on his wall.

The painting is 'La Mariee' by Chagall. Julia says its how love should be, floating in a dark blue sky. Hugh says '...with a goat, playing a violin.' Julia answers, ' well, yes, happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat.' This scene is a picture to me of how our relationship is. His funny answers that bring me out of a melancholy state. My love of love that is always moved by something romantic or sentimental. I love our relationship for so many reasons. I can always, no matter what state I'm in, be completely myself. I am always challenged to be the best 'Me'. I have learned to love, really love, in the best and worst of times. I have gained a friend that is closer to me than any I have had in my entire life. A friend that knows me better than anyone. A friend that can know exactly what I'm thinking or feeling in a crowd of people and knows how to tell me without words that he knows and he loves me. 8 years seems like a long and short amount of time. Some days are long, others fly by. But I wouldn't change anything. Because, all that we've weathered, the violent storms and gentle breezes of this crazy whirlwind of life has taught us what it means to lean on each other, to be a companion, defender and friend. I love Mark now more than I ever have. And I don't think I'll ever stop being totally amazed that he married me!

I Love You Mark!

Change!

2009-08-17T11:15:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone....I just wanted to let you know that I deleted a few of my other blogs...too much work and not enough readers. I have compiled all of them into a new blog...so I only have 3 now...this one, my photography and the new one. Its going to be eco, beauty, fitness, cooking, home decor....all the things I love or am doing (fitness is not a love, but a must) and this one will be random in and outs of my days!
The new blog is not fully laid out yet, so check in a few days and we will be good to go!! :)

While I'm Waiting

2009-08-13T08:59:00.001-07:00

THIS IS MY SONG LATELY---->

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Love...

2009-08-05T22:29:00.008-07:00

Mark and I were listening to a new U2 song and there was this line...

'I want a love that is as hard as hate'

I am floored by that. What would the world look like, what would we look like if we loved as hard as people hated. I want to be like that....always! The last little while has been a journey (it seems I'm always on one) of forgiveness for me. Really forgiving, not just with my words, but with my heart. God has allowed me to experience hurt, like the real, gut-wrenching kind. And when I say allowed, its because I'm learning that in all these things, my Heavenly Fatheris committed to changing my heart. I wanted to pull the blankets over my head and cry the month away, but Love wouldn't let me. I am thankful that His love for me is harder than hate, because where would I be if He didn't love me enough to change me?

Laughter is GOOD medicine

2009-08-05T08:29:00.002-07:00

Do you ever need a good laugh? Whats the thing that does it for you?
I needed one and I found it here...

www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Here I am, with tears streaming down my face (happy, hysterical tears) and so I thought I'd share some of my favorites. Whoever has the website puts little blurbs under each picture, which makes it 100 times funnier.

Yes, those are Kittens in their pockets. I think that they be Anitas neighbours...lol ;)

Words cannot even express how funny this is to me!! The poor dad!

Now, thats fear! haha!

I would never leave the house, if my family had hair like this...lol!

Trials

2009-07-28T23:48:00.006-07:00

I was reading my friends status the other day on facebook and it said,

"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation
with the bricks that others throw at him"

It reminded me of this quote from Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

James 1:2- "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (The Message)

We are on a journey, constantly learning, usually through pain, how to become more like Jesus.
I don't want to be one who tries to get out of trials prematurely. I want to face them , head on, believing they are for my sake!

DOULA COURSE!!!!

2009-07-28T08:20:00.003-07:00

Well, my incredible aunt, who is a doula & midwives assistant, has worked her magic and is hosting the doula course in PG, and I'm so excited! Usually its on the lower mainland or Victoria, so this is an incredible opportunity! It will be held in November, and my aunt said the best thing I could do would be to read this first:

No problem, its only 474 pages...eek! I need to kick into student mode!!

Retail Therapy

2009-07-26T22:05:00.003-07:00

What better way to send the blues away than 'window shopping' online! The last couple days have been blue-sy, so tonight I 'shopped' around and this is the treasure I found:

Marc Jacobs Leather Tiered Hilary Satchel
on bluefly.com

but if I had that kind of money, I probably wouldn't be blue...lol!

2009-07-23T09:53:00.005-07:00

This picture, in giant form, hangs above the fireplace in our home. I walk by it, on average, 25 times a day, but rarely do I read it. I see it, admire it, comment to myself how cool it is. But rarely do I really think about what it says. I originally bought it to go in Marks office, and it was there for a while, but when I needed to convert his office into a kids space, the picture came into the living room.
And so this morning, I walked by it twice and the third time stopped to really look. While I was there, I had a little conversation with God that went something like this:

Me: No such thing as small change thats for sure. What do you think my capacity is?
Him: I know the plans I have for you...
Me: Ya, but I'm not as strong as you think. I'm barely holding up under the weight.
Him: My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Learn from me.
Me: I am not wise enough, strong enough or brave enough.
Him: Thats exactly what I want.
Me: How could I be what you want?
Him: In your weakness, my strength is made perfect
Me: But there are so many things that I don't understand!
Him: Bring them to me!
Me: Why can't I have a baby? Why me!? Why do I have to be barren?
Him: So that the work of God may be displayed in your life. Think of Sarah, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth...
Me: You've chosen the wrong girl!
Him: I never choose the wrong girl!
Me: Ya, but...
Him: I KNOW THE PLANS I HAVE FOR YOU...

This is often the conversation I have with God. I am always calling Him on His Word, challenging Him, questioning Him, which just reveals my insecurity. I am worried that I'll be passed over, forgotten, I'll get old and I'll be barren still. And then I hear those scriptures over and over...'and the Lord opened her womb....and Sarah laughed....he settles the barren woman as a happy mother of children....' He knows the plans, which means I don't. Thats what faith is. Trusting in what you can't see! I And so, when I see 'There is no such thing as small change, I'm reminded again and again, that there is SO MUCH MORE that he has in store for me. And the road is not easy, but He knows the plans...

Challenge Picture!

2009-07-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

This is my picture I drew in Paint. The First is how I see myself now. The Second is how I see myself in 5 yrs. The first picture will be reincarnated in real form soon, as I will be a bridesmaid wearing a blue dress. Love the dress, just not the body! Sigh!

CHALLENGE!!

2009-07-20T20:25:00.003-07:00

This is for EVERYONE! A fun little exercise! Get a piece of paper and a pencil (or use 'paint' on your computer if you don't have a scanner).
Now, draw 2 pictures or if you feel you can't, then find a picture that represents you. The first how you see yourself now...and the second how you see yourself in 5 yrs. You can make it as elaborate as you want or make stick men...the choice is yours! Its a good way to see what you are seeing!
Post it on your blogs and share with us!
My next post will be my pictures. :)

All things wedding...

2009-07-15T09:41:00.006-07:00

...but not mine!
Carin's Wedding is quickly approaching! And I'm going to attempt to do my own hair...eek!
These are the hairstyles that I like....

I'm hoping its not too difficult!
And here is how I want to try and do my makeup...double eek (its all about saving money)!

And Lucky Me, I found the youtube tutorial (by her in fact) which is awesome
Click HERE for the video

One thing I really need to figure out is if I want to keep my hair dark or put highlights in!
Any Suggestions??

Sorry for the non-interesting post!

Eco, Organic, etc...

2009-07-13T08:36:00.004-07:00

I have been informing myself about all things organic, eco-friendly, chemical free. I am far from knowing it all but I have found a few websites that I found very interesting. Whether you are single, married, or a mother (or father) of few or many children, the topic of living organically, eco friendly, or chemical free may have crossed your mind as well.
So, here is a few websites that can help you in your education:

Holistic Moms Network
Organic Pregnancy, Birth, and PostPartum
Organic Products
Organic Gardening
Eco Friendly Products

P.S. And coming soon...an organic farm near you! Thanks Anita! :)

Living *clean* is important...our bodies will thank us!

Here are some practical tips to help you get started:

REMOVE toxins:

• Avoid processed foods.
• Buy organic when possible.
• Buy eco-friendly cleaning products.
• Remove one or more of the foods that cause food allergies, sensitivities and are mucus-forming, such as dairy, bread, pasta, sugar, white rice and red meat.
• Remove the bad bacteria in your gut with plant and herbal antibacterials and use garlic, lemon, olive oil, oregano oil, thyme and cayenne pepper – all powerful natural antimicrobials.

RESTORE what is lacking:

• Consume nutrient-rich foods (vegetables, fruits, nuts, seeds, legumes).
• Use supplements to boost availability of your specific depletions (the B vitamins are commonly depleted).
• Soak up some sun. Fifteen minutes of sun exposure a day will allow you to sustain better levels of vitamin D for bone strength and protection from cancer and depression.

Feel free to post links that you like in your comments and I will add them to my list!

Here it is...

2009-07-10T09:59:00.002-07:00

Here is the Color Palette:

Here is the inspiration board I made:

10 yr. Rapidly Approaching

2009-07-09T23:22:00.002-07:00

Well, as you know I mentioned awhile ago that Mark and I were going to go to the BVI for our 10 yr. Renewal Celebration. We've been doing a lot of thinking and discussion about the subject. We really want everyone close to us to be there and we REALLY don't want $$$ to be the reason anyone would not attend. This is all still in the works. I know it seems early, but by the beginning of 2010, I want to have all these kinks worked out so that we can start planning for real. Mark and I just sat down and I ~~forced~~ asked him to make some concrete decisions about color, theme, etc... which he did without ~~screaming~~ complaining...what a gem, eh? lol! So anyways, I am in the midst of making a inspiration board to share...its going to be so incredibly cool! I'll give you a hint...the theme is 'Earth'. Hopefully tomorrow I can post some sneak peeks!!

Drumroll Please.....

2009-07-07T20:55:00.002-07:00

Head over here to have a exciting and long awaited surprise!!!!!!!

Dreamin.....

2009-07-01T23:08:00.015-07:00

Mark and I were talking last about our dreams for a home and life someday. This is what we want (here's to really nice dreams..lol) SHARE YOURS!!

Our View:

Our Home:

Our Backyard: Garden and Orchard

Our Guest House:

My Recording & Art Studios:

Marks Office & Theater:

Our Pets:

CAMPING!!!!!!

2009-06-30T13:21:00.003-07:00

Only 3 more sleeps until we go CAMPING for 3 nights! I am so excited!
These are some of the things we will experience (there are 2 that I am NOT thrilled about though):

Psalm 23

2009-06-25T14:41:00.003-07:00

I cannot get enough of Psalm 23 and I love the Youtube video of the woman singing the song 'Psalm 23' in labor...so amazing! It is the song I sing ALL the time around the house. The other day, I got the crazy idea to record it so that I could 'sing to myself psalms, hymns....' Anyways, don't judge it too harshly, it is raw and acapella! You can find it on my devotional blog too!

For the woman singing it in labor....click here

Yummmm

2009-06-24T00:05:00.003-07:00

Can I just say that I LOOOVVVEE this boy! Lately, I'm feeling butterflies again! I LOVE love!!!
And this is my all time favorite picture of him!!
YUMMM! lol!
Ok, I'm done. Just had to get that out!
I love you Mark!

Blogging

2009-06-23T10:38:00.003-07:00

Hi everyone! Its good to be home! I have lots of stuff to post and have a renewed love of blogging. But I am going to be posting on ALL my blogs. So, if I haven't posted 'here' in a while, check out the others, there is probably a post somewhere!
Love you and talk to you soon!

p.s. I have currently posted on all of them!

Fathers Day

2009-06-21T23:44:00.004-07:00

I love you so much Dad!
Thank you for your friendship & leadership!
I am who I am because of you!

----------

And to my incredible husband and my 'someday' childrens' 'someday' daddy!!!
You will be the best father. You have such a capacity for love!
I can't wait to have a family with you!

Our Trip Part 1

2009-06-02T22:02:00.004-07:00

Guy & Rachel and Fam

Kisses on Mount Royale

Montreal

Markus

This is the street where a huge portion of the orthodox jews live.

Here is a little boy with the curls

Basilique Notre Dame in Montreal

Inside the Fairmont in Old Quebec City

A view of Old Quebec City

Glorious Travelling!!

2009-06-01T13:30:00.004-07:00

OH MY WORD!! We had an incredible time!! We fell in love with Montreal...totally incredible!! There is lots of pictures coming (still uploading them). One thing I cannot wait to post is:
We have picked the location of our 10 year renewal getaway! For those of you that haven't heard, we are planning an incredible getaway for 2011 for ANYONE who wants to come! It will be our 10 yr. anniversary, so we will be renewing our vows on the beautiful beaches of......

TORTOLA, BVI (British Virgin Islands)

While we were in Toronto, we met an incredible family that leads a church in Tortola. We told them we wanted to come renew our vows there and so all we made a plan (sort of..lol) When the time gets a little closer...we will set the date, etc...
I'm so excited!!!

2009-05-10T17:24:00.005-07:00

Happy Mothers Day Mom!
Thank you for your friendship & love!

I have not been on lately...because this is what I have been doing to my computer.
We have had problem after problem and I briefly have my dads computer which is allowing this update right now!

I'm leaving on a jet plane....

We leave for our awesome trip on Wednesday Morning...so I am so excited!
I have lots to do, so I will not be on the computer to update!
I am taking my camera and will have lots to share when we return!!
Cya soon! :)

2009-05-02T08:55:00.003-07:00

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.

"Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw,

"I just wanted to be sure of you."

I'm so blessed to have friends that I can be sure of.
They don't need to say or even do anything.
Just having them beside me is more than enough!

My Wedding Songs

2009-04-30T08:19:00.002-07:00

A couple days ago, Carin came over and I was showing her my wedding songs.
I got so excited about them all over again, I thought I would show you all!
Yahoo!!!
(click on the song titles to hear them)

Bridesmaids:
Rawlins Cross 'Wedding Gift'

Me & My Dad:
K's Choice 'Favorite Adventure'

Signing the register/Candlelighting:
Shaun Colvin 'Never saw blue'

Back down the aisle:
Star Wars: 'Augie's Great Municipal Band'

First Dance:
Shaun Colvin & Ernie 'I don't want to live on the moon'

I'd love to hear your wedding songs!!
So, come on and share em with us! :)

2009-04-29T09:22:00.005-07:00

'Don't ask God to bless what you're doing.
Find out what He's doing.
Its already blessed!'
-Bono

'Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless;
maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
Rescue the weak and needy'
Psalm 82:3

'He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap'
Psalm 113:7

'I know that the LORD secures justice for the poor
and upholds the cause of the needy'
Psalm 140:12

He is changing our focus;
Turning our eyes to something of great importance.
He is breaking our hearts for the things that break His.
He is with the poor.
The poor are not just in Africa or India.
They are around us.

They are people we see everyday.

Do we walk by, pretending to be fixated
on a piece of lint on our shirt, so as to not make eye contact?

God wants us to be very aware of the needs in our city.
What are we doing to make a difference.
I want to do something....ANYTHING that will change a life.

In our home group, in the summer,we usually do lots of fun activites...
BBQ's, outings to the lake etc...But this year, we want to do
things that will make a difference. We are going to be doing some
pretty cool stuff. And I'm really excited for it!

2009-04-28T13:12:00.006-07:00

'You have taught children and infant
to tell of your strength'

Psalm 8:2a (NLT)

Yesterday, I went to a friends house for a meeting. Before going inside, I visited with my friends 2 older boys. I mentioned in our conversation that I had been sick for a few days and that my ears had been severely plugged. I said that I had tried everything to make them unplug....heat, oil, hydrogen peroxide, hanging upside down...everything!
My friends oldest son came up to me and almost whispered into my ear,
'Did you get someone to pray for you?'

'Pardon me? What did you say?'

'I said, "Did you get someone to pray for you?"
Because usually people say, "I've tried everything!"
But they haven't tried prayer!"

I was totally floored by this. A twelve year old boy is
keeping my faith in check. He was confirming that I still
believe God is who he says he is.

I thought about this more as I drove home.
How often do we underestimate the capacity of a child to understand the power and strength of God.
I felt a bit embarassed. Not because I was reprimanded (unknowingly to him).
But, because I was shocked that those words came from that source.

I want to be one that expects to be challenged by children. I want to look to them for example, encouragement and inspiration, not be confounded when they speak with wisdom beyond their years.

Step by Step, Oooh Baby!!

2009-04-27T07:36:00.003-07:00

These are all the steps I have to take:

Birth:
1. Verify that you are a current member of DONA International
2. Pay your Certification Application Processing Fee
3. Read 5 Books from the Required Reading List and the International Birth Doula Position Paper.
4. Complete the Basic Knowledge Self Assessment Tool
5. Observe a Child Preparation Series (12 hrs. minimum) or attend an Intro to Childbirth for Doulas (7 hrs. minimum)
6. Verify completion of a Breastfeeding Requirement.
7. Attend a DONA Approved Birth Doula Workshop of (16 hrs minimum)
8. Submit Client & Care Provider Evaluations from all three: Mothers, Physician or Midwife and Nurses present at births.
9. Document at least 3 births (must include components of step 8 for every birth; labor support hours must for all 3 births must total 15 hrs. minimum; doula must be present from the beginning of active labor or birth is not included in total births)
10. Birth Record Sheets (click here ) from every birth
11. Birth Essays: each birth must include a 500-700 word essay.
Must include:
- brief descpription of labor
- your role as doula
- description of mother's emotional reaction to labor, birth and early postpartum
- what you learned from the experience
12. Develop and submit a resource list that includes at least 45 resources from at least 30 different categories.
13. Write an essay (500-700 words) on The Purpose and Value of Labor Support:
Must include: The benefits of labor support to the mother and her family, the purpose behind providing labor support, the doula's responsibilities, the doula's role.
14. Sign the DONA International Code of Ethics and Standards of Practice Forms
15. Provide Character References on Application
16. Write Essay on 'Why I Became a Doula'

Postpartum:
1. Verify completion of a breastfeeding requirement: Proof of completion of an on-line lactation study program.
2. Read at least one book from each of the following categories: “Becoming a Mother,” “The Newborn,” and “Breastfeeding”
3. Attend a DONA International approved postpartum doula workshop of 27 or more hours.
4. Receive good evaluations from at least three mothers to whom you have provided a minimum of eight hours each of postpartum support after attending the DONA-approved postpartum doula workshop. At least two of the three mothers must be breastfeeding during the time you are working with them.
5. Receive good evaluations from at least three spouses, partners, or other adult support people of the above clients. The doula must have spent enough time with the partner for them to feel comfortable filling out the evaluation form.
6.Write Essay (300-500 words) for each certifying postpartum experience, covering the following:
• The age of the newborn when you began
• The starting and ending dates and approximate total postpartum hours of service with this family
• The doula’s role with the mother
• The mother’s reaction to the support she received
• The doula’s role with the father/partner/adult support person
• The father’s / partner’s or other adult’s reaction to the support they received
• What the doula learned from this experience
7. Three signed copies of the DONA International Confidentiality Release Form, one for each family submitted for certification
8. Write Essay (500-1000 words) on “The Value of Postpartum Support.”
9. Develop and submit a resource list that must include at least 45 resources from at least 30 different categories.
10. Receive Health Care Professional Recommendation Form or letter of recommendation from a healthcare provider.
11. Complete Skills Self Assessment Form
12. Provide Character References.
13. Verify current DONA International membership
14. Sign copy of DONA International’s Postpartum Doula Code of Ethics & Standards of Practice
15. Read the DONA International Position Papers: The Postpartum Doula’s Role in Maternity Care and The Birth Doula’s Contribution to Modern Maternity Care.

Miracles!!

2009-04-25T16:33:00.002-07:00

Well, its almost hard to believe!! But I have almost all the books I need to begin!!!! WOWZERS!!

Starla purchased

for me!! Huge Blessing!!

Mark ordered:

for me...LOVE HIM!!!!

And today I went searching for this book:

And found it for $26.99....I went to the checkout and the lady says,
'Do you want to use your $10.00 credit?'
I was like, 'HECK YA!!'

I feel beyond blessed!!
Add the few that I found on my own bookshelf (who knew) and I'm almost all set!!

Sorry for another boring book post...I'm just getting really excited!!

Just a quick note....

2009-04-23T09:41:00.004-07:00

...to tell you that I am now a sales rep for

and

I am anticipating the arrival of my first catalogues.
I LOVE Avon & Mark makeup and now they have cool bags and accessories!

Also, I am done nannying for good at the end of August &
will be focusing on my doula course full time!

Happy Earth Day!

2009-04-22T07:50:00.003-07:00

'The earth is the LORD's, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.'
Psalm 24:1

Today, be a good steward of God's creation!

1. Plant a tree in your yard or start a garden

2. Buy organic & support a local, organic farmer

3. Switch to cloth re-usable shopping bags

4. Buy energy-saving, compact-fluorescent light bulbs and other energy efficient products.

5. Recycle

Calling all Book Owners!

2009-04-21T16:53:00.005-07:00

I am on the lookout for books on my whopping big reading list!

If any of the books below grace your shelves and you are wiant to get rid of them, let me know!
I would rather own the books than rent them from the library...for some reason, they don't appreciate highlighting and notes in the books;). I have had a few of the books covered already, thank to some terrific friends, but still have lots to get!
So, if you can help me out, let me know!

*Note: Thanks to all you ladies who have helped me out in the book dept. already! I am very grateful!*

The List:
1) Simkin, The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions, 3rd edition, 2008

2) Gaskin, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, 2004

3) Newman & Pitman, Dr. Jack Newman’s Guide to Breastfeeding, 2000 (Available in

Canada

)
4) Placksin, Mothering the New Mother

5) Klaus and Klaus, Your Amazing Newborn

6) Kennell and Klaus, Bonding

There is a list quite a bit longer that I might post later...they give you a choice of 3-5 titles that you can choose for each section. Eventually I would like to own all of them, but for now, I will settle for what is necessary.
Thank you!!! :)

2009-04-20T08:21:00.002-07:00

This is one of my attempts at being disciplined. I'm going to follow it until I get a habit/routine out of it.

*Also*
Blog Ladies, its 'Confession Time':
I do not know how to meal plan /shop for groceries frugally!!!!
I am desperate to save money in this area! So I am employing your help/suggestions/links/tools/tips/counsel!!! PLEASE! I am desperate!
I need to meal plan (because I need to be accountable for everything I am eating calorically), but since I started meal planning, the cost of our groceries has sky-rocketed!!!
HELP!

I'm pleased to announce...

2009-04-17T08:49:00.004-07:00

I'm going to be a Doula!
I'm so excited! I am going to get my Birth Doula & Post Partum Doula Certificate.
It is quite the process, but one that I've wanted to do for a long time!
Some reading this right now are scratching their head repeating to themselves,
'Doula? Doula? What the jiggers is a Doula?'

'Doula' comes from the Greek and literally translates 'mothers servant'
Also called a birth or labor coach.
A Doula is a mothers mother. Their job is solely to care for the mother during the birth.

Here is the description from the DONA website:

A Birth Doula

Recognizes birth as a key experience the mother will remember all her life
Understands the physiology of birth and the emotional needs of a woman in labor
Assists the woman in preparing for and carrying out her plans for birth
Stays with the woman throughout the labor
Provides emotional support, physical comfort measures and an objective viewpoint, as well as helping the woman get the information she needs to make informed decision
Facilitates communication between the laboring woman, her partner and her clinical care providers
Perceives her role as nurturing and protecting the woman's memory of the birth experience
Allows the woman's partner to participate at his/her comfort level

A Postpartum Doula

Offers education, companionship and nonjudgmental support during the postpartum fourth trimester
Assists with newborn care, family adjustment, meal preparation and light household tidying
Offers evidence-based information on infant feeding, emotional and physical recovery from birth, infant soothing and coping skills for new parents and makes appropriate referrals when necessary

Here are some statistics.

50% reduction in the cesarean rate
25% shorter labor
60% reduction in epidural requests
40% reduction in oxytocin use
30% reduction in analgesia use
40% reduction in forceps delivery

So, we are leaving for Montreal & Toronto May 12th and will be gone for 10 days. When I get home, I'm going to begin. The way that it works is you register with DONA and then you have 2 years to complete all of the requirements for certification. So I will be reading up a storm. Much of the requirements are a lot of reading...I have 15 books in total.

I'm really excited for the challenge and looking forward to finally having a career that I know I will love for a long, long time! :)

Back

2009-04-15T23:05:00.004-07:00

Hi friends!
I'm back and full of things to share! I missed you terribly!
I have to tell you some things I've experienced, some funny stories and lots of pictures!
Its been a few weeks of contemplating life, career, goals, etc... (hence the above photo), but its been good for me. I will share more later

One thing I've learned these last few weeks:

'Don't you dare try to put a ceiling on who you can become!
When you do that,
you stop growing, learning, trying and eventually living!'

I'm glad to be back! Love you guys!

2009-04-01T12:35:00.003-07:00

...I will be back, I just don't know when. I need some time away.
Thinking of you!
Thanks for sharing your lives with me!
I'll miss the stories, adventures, the updates, the beginnings!
Please pray for me while I'm gone. I need it!
I am walking in the valley right now.
I know His hand is on me, leading me, but its a hard road to walk.
I know in my head that this will make me stronger and
produce the character that I need to walk the valleys that are coming,
but right now, I just feel so alone.
Thanks for all your encouragement in the last while.
It has blessed me.
I love you!

2009-03-31T13:59:00.007-07:00

"O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,
I will build you with stones of turquoise,
your foundations with sapphires.

I will make your battlements of rubies,
your gates of sparkling jewels,
and all your walls of precious stones...

In righteousness you will be established:
Tyranny will be far from you;
you will have nothing to fear.
Terror will be far removed;
it will not come near you...

...no weapon forged against you will prevail,
and you will refute every tongue that accuses you.
This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD,
and this is their vindication from me,"
declares the LORD.

Isaiah 54

Today a friend sent me an email with a verse from 1 Peter 2 on it. So I went and read the whole chapter.
And it changed my day!!!
Seriously!!

These are the highlights:

"So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You've had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast, drink deep of God's pure kindness. Then you'll grow up mature and whole in God...

But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God's instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul...

...This is the kind of life you've been invited into, the kind of life Christ lived. He suffered everything that came his way so you would know that it could be done, and also know how to do it, step-by-step.
He never did one thing wrong,
Not once said anything amiss.
They called him every name in the book and he said nothing back. He suffered in silence, content to let God set things right. He used his servant body to carry our sins to the Cross so we could be rid of sin, free to live the right way. His wounds became your healing. You were lost sheep with no idea who you were or where you were going. Now you're named and kept for good by the Shepherd of your souls."

(The Message)

2009-03-30T12:59:00.002-07:00

Hi. I'm not in the spirit of blogging right now, so I'll make it brief. There is a lot going on right now in most areas of my/our live(s). Grappling with life (I'm sure I'm not the only one).
Just wanted to ask that you would pray for me/us. And I'll be back soon!
Love you all!!

Final Decision

2009-03-27T10:17:00.003-07:00

Well, I've made up my mind and this is what I've picked.
Its going to be this cut...

and somewhere between that color & highlights
and this...

not this dark though. I'm going to go lighter for summer! :)
(Did you hear that summer? I'm doing something for you, now, you can do something for me! like, SHOW UP!)

Opinion anyone?

2009-03-25T13:06:00.013-07:00

Well, 100% of the time, my hair does NOT look like this:

But it is getting pretty long & the ends are deader than dead.
So its time to revisit cut, color and such!
These are a few ideas I found, but as always, I need opinions!
So, help me out....please!!

I love this style of highlights...with the peek-a-boo (the right term evades me)
contrast underneath:

I also like this (minus the bangs, we know how that went last time!):

The other possibility is just going solid color:

Light or Dark Blonde

Dark or Light Brown

Auburn or Black

I'm probably going to leave as much length as I can....and also get a lot of layers because my hair is fine and volume-less.

I'm also up for suggestions. I'm not super picky and I'm up for most anything!
Thanks for your help!

My #1 Movie

2009-03-25T08:03:00.002-07:00

Last night, Mark and I watched this movie!!!

It was absolutely amazing!!!!!!!
Totally amazing!!!
I wept my face off (a common occurence I know)

Anyways, if you haven't seen it, you must!!

My Saturday finds...

2009-03-22T18:11:00.004-07:00

Well, our saturday was awesome! We went for breakfast at our date spot. Then went around town looking for clothing. Mark got some new jeans and a hoodie. I got spaghetti tanks and these two great finds..

This shirt in black for $20

These jeans for $36 (Reitmans)

I searched high and low for nice, really comfy shoes that were good on my feet.
I finally found these at Sidewalkers. I'm still deciding on them. They seriously felt like heaven. But I need outside opinion!! What do you guys think of them? Are they stylish enough? I need to decide by Friday!

click here for the website

Next week...

2009-03-20T08:03:00.004-07:00

Next Payday, I am making a few purchases.

One:
New Balance Shoes
(This is the Foot Doctors command to help with my weird foot pain & back)

(I wish they made dressy 'good-for-your-back' shoes)

Two:
Jeans...
if only it would like this when I wear them ;)

Three:
A Jacket

I have not had a new jacket in a very long time...so I'm hoping to find a nice semi-dressy one...since we will be hitting some fancy spots in Montreal & Toronto.
Hopefully I can get my behavior to follow suit! :)

Fun day with Jabby & Ella

2009-03-18T12:37:00.004-07:00

Today, we went for breakfast to Denny's with my Mom & Dad & our friend, Florli, that came up to visit. Then we got dropped off at the library. It wasn't open for 45 minutes, so we headed through the snow to the park and played (well, the kids played and I observed).

Once at the library, the kids were in their glory!! They played puzzles, picked out books and movies & fell in love with the library's mascot, a large tarantula named Maxine!
Then we walked to the bus stop at the medical center, took the bus all over town which the kids loved, especially since we sat at the very back and the kids were laughing so hard every time we kit a bump. After the final stop at the mall, we had 45 minutes to kill before the next bus, so we walked to McDonalds and grabbed the kids lunch to go. They wanted to eat in the bus shelter (you know the one that you want to disinfect before entering, ya, that one) So we did.
Then we took the bus home.
It was a fun day! The kids loved it too, which was the best part!

2009-03-16T23:46:00.002-07:00

and a little music for your day...
this one is in my top 10 (my grandma used to sing it to me)
click here

2009-03-16T14:20:00.001-07:00

Day1

2009-03-13T08:33:00.001-07:00

Day1
Originally uploaded by Ruthie Magee

Much to Tamara's joy, I'm sure, I have joined the 365 challenge. I thought it would be a good year, since there will be a lot going on and it will give me something to do, when all is calm too! :)

Photography 101

2009-03-12T08:54:00.005-07:00

I'm so excited!
My good friend, Justin & his uber cutie wife, Lorene are in town.
Justin has been my counsel during my
'search-for-the-perfect-camera'
season of my life. He knows so much and was so patient to explain stuff.
Tomorrow, we're going to go out together and he's going to show me even more!
Did I mention I'm so excited??!!

Speaking of photography, there are a few people that I'm just waiting with great
anticipation to photograph...

1. Livvie & Lily in the summer
2. The Wiebe's feet in a row

Like this, but a real photograph
3. Tamara (have you seen how photogenic she is? Click HERE
4. Leah dancing
5. The Colbornes

There is much more, but I really would just go on forever!!

I have 2 weddings, 1 engagement, and 2 other sessions already booked for this summer.
So you can imagine my relief that Justin the hero
is here to teach me!!!!

Dans le Noir

2009-03-11T08:00:00.004-07:00

Imagine going to dinner at an incredible 5 star restaurant.

You order this...

But when the waiter brings it to you, all you see is this...

Why??
Because you're in complete and utter darkness!!

When we go to Montreal, we are going to be dining at

Dans le Noir

an experience that we will never forget
We will be eating in complete darkness.
All of our waiters and waitresses will be blind.
We cannot leave the table unless we get our server to escort us.
We call out their name if we need a refill or something extra added to our meal.

I'm so excited! Its going to be so incredible!