Proverbs 29:18
'Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained'
New American Standard
'Without prophetic vision people run wild'
God's Word Translation
'Where there is no vision, the people perish'
King James
'Without a Vision is a people made naked'
Young Literals Translation
'Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint'
World English Bible
If people can't see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves
The Message
Lately, I find myself, grappling with the vision of God. I want to know Him. Really know Him. When I know my friends, I know what they think about everything.
We can finish each others sentences. I want to know God that way.
There are a many areas that are a battle for me. One is my infertility.
There is the side of me that says,
'Your will, Oh God! I want nothing more than your perfect will.'
Yet, the other side says,
'Just please don't let it include lifetime barreness!
Because I don't think I am strong enough for that road!'
vi⋅sion: the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be
I want the power to anticipate what will be!
I need to believe that I am not forgotten.
The journey of infertility is the hardest I've ever walked. Maybe, I'm callow to assume that.
Sometimes, its really hard to hear parents complain about how annoying their children are
(I'm not thinking specifics, friends!), cry out about the pain of wanting to have another child,
while my broken heart would give anything in the world to have that annoying child or have that womb that had carried a child before.
Please, don't be hurt by my honesty! I love you all & I really do rejoice when you conceive. I love all your children. Just sometimes, my heart hurts more than usual!
'Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained'
New American Standard
'Without prophetic vision people run wild'
God's Word Translation
'Where there is no vision, the people perish'
King James
'Without a Vision is a people made naked'
Young Literals Translation
'Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint'
World English Bible
If people can't see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves
The Message
Lately, I find myself, grappling with the vision of God. I want to know Him. Really know Him. When I know my friends, I know what they think about everything.
We can finish each others sentences. I want to know God that way.
There are a many areas that are a battle for me. One is my infertility.
There is the side of me that says,
'Your will, Oh God! I want nothing more than your perfect will.'
Yet, the other side says,
'Just please don't let it include lifetime barreness!
Because I don't think I am strong enough for that road!'
vi⋅sion: the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be
I want the power to anticipate what will be!I need to believe that I am not forgotten.
The journey of infertility is the hardest I've ever walked. Maybe, I'm callow to assume that.
Sometimes, its really hard to hear parents complain about how annoying their children are
(I'm not thinking specifics, friends!), cry out about the pain of wanting to have another child,
while my broken heart would give anything in the world to have that annoying child or have that womb that had carried a child before.
Please, don't be hurt by my honesty! I love you all & I really do rejoice when you conceive. I love all your children. Just sometimes, my heart hurts more than usual!
*Both pictures are from the Facebook Graffiti Gallery
5 comments:
Ruth, I am grieving with you. I know it's hard to trust when things just don't seem to be changing. You already know all the answers and phrases I could say, so I won't bother. Just know that you are loved and prayed for. Someday this will all make sense...
I agree with Gwen! I feel like there is nothing that I can say to take the pain away. It is hard to trust sometimes when we can't see what God is doing. Praying!
I have no words of wisdom. I can't even imagine or begin to imagine your pain and sadness.
hun, i can *kinda* relate.... sometimes i cry out, will i ever have a family? will i ever have kids? in so many ways i want those things more than anything else in the world... and at the same time i want God's agenda for my life, period... His will, not mine... and i wonder, WHERE IS THE PEACE?... I WANT TO BE AT TOTAL PEACE WHATEVER YOUR WILL IS, LORD!.... and yet....
... and hope deferred makes the heart sick... so bad days are understandable, hun, don't let the enemy discourage you when you have days where you grieve and long for it more than others... it's part of the human experience, y'know? if God hadn't wanted us - if He didn't see some eternal value in it - to go through the journey of searching for peace and struggling with our flesh, He wouldn't have made us human, seriously. ...no condemnation.
there's a verse that comforts me, and i don't want to be pithy, it may be one that's been thrown your way many times, but from my own situation i hold it as a promise, so i'll just share it:
Isaiah 54:1 - "Sing, O barren, You who have not borne! Break forth into singing, and cry aloud, You who have not labored with child! For more are the children of the desolate Than the children of the married woman," says the Lord.
what i hold in it as a promise is the joy and peace that He has for the childless or unmarried woman - and you pegged it in this post: it is the VISION for the many children we will have had in different ways ... every person who's been nurtured via me as the 'Father Hen' would have me nurture... every word spoken into another's life - imparting vision and worth and value to a person the way parents do (or should)...
... maybe because of my own personal circumstances (that few know of), i am hugely aware of the need - and value of - 'parental figures' that are not the person's family of origin, and the impact - and need for - those kind of people in individuals lives, and an appreciation for the HUGENESS of the kind of ministry it does to the heart, and how it can echo beyond just those that are in immediate receipt of that kind of love... 'more are the children of the desolate...'
hope it was ok to share this... love ya, hun. (((hugs)))
Wow!! Thank you all!! I am overwhelmed at the quality of friends I have been given! My parents have said that they never had really close friends until they were well in their late 20's. I can't believe that I have been surrounded by exceptional people!
I really really love you!!!!
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