So, a few of you have said you'd like the non condensed version of my battle lately. So here it is.
I lack discipline. In almost every area. I struggle with committing to something and following it though.
If its a struggle or takes determination, I fizzle out. I despise this about myself. This is the thing that was brought to me & I responded badly. I want to change this about myself. In weight loss, I want to have the guts to stick it out to see results. In my job, I want to finish what I start. I really don't know why I'm like this. Maybe its partial insecurity, but I refuse to lay blame anymore. This is something that cannot have a place in my life. I am tired of giving up, selling short & never crossing the finish line. I want results. I want accomplishment. I want success.
It is an unphill battle. But, I am getting up for the 1,000th time, brushing off the dirt and starting over. I can't change the past, but I can keep moving forward. Today is great for new beginnings. And so is tomorrow. He is faithful enough to pick me up, shake off the dust, speak life to me & push me on.
'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.'- Hebrews 12:1
'Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training...Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. '- 1 Corinthians 9:25-28
p.s. As for the gym, what an experience. I was on the elliptical beside a 20 lb woman who had 1 drop of sweat the whole time. What came over me, I don't know, but I decided that I should be going her speed, so I did...for 10 minutes. When I got off, the room started to spin & my legs gave out from under me. A little embarassing. Why the heck was I trying to be like her? The common problem in women today. Arg! Anyways, I was better after a few minutes, and went on to use the other equipment, which I did pretty good on, thanks to my sister getting in my face (she is a lot like Jillian, actually). We then had a sauna...so NICE!!
It was a good first time, i think. Time will tell. The crappy thing is having to be cautious of my back. My doctor wasn't thrilled about me going to a gym. He wanted me to go swimming instead. So after January, I'm going to re-assess the situation. What I might do is switch every month. One month at the pool, one month at the gym. We'll see. I'm also doing the DDR 3 times a week & Turbo Jam 3 times a week. Pray for me!!! :)
