Today, I buried my face in the carpet and cried my eyes out. I cried out of loss, desperation, gratitude, and worship. I spent a long time like that. Just crying. I formed very few words and yet God saw all the things that were in my heart.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."- Romans 8:25-57

I knew I needed Him. I needed His heart. When I function on my own, I am bitter, broken & a huge mess. When I get a hold of Him, everything changes. I lean on His strength & it carries me.

"Passing through the Valley of Weeping, they make it a place of springs; the early rain also fills the pools with blessings. They go from strength to strength [increasing in victorious power]; until each of them appears before God in Zion" - Psalms 84:6

These are on repeat lately in my house:







He is infinitely greater than we can ever imagine. His love for us is beyond any on this earth. And that love is something I want to know for my whole life!

Well, I know its been only one day, but I've changed my mind.

The main reason I have a blog is to encourage people. Whether its through sharing my pain, chaos & craziness of life, or through the hope, joy & purpose that I've found in my journey.
The last little while, I've lost sight of that. This summer has been packed full of hard circumstances. Fall outs with friends, false accusations, attacks on everything & everyone I value. It made me want to retreat and hide and keep my life very sacred and private.
But then today, I got a message that said I am a hope, comfort & inspiration to someone. ME??!!! That makes this all worth it. My life IS on display, whether I like it or not. I can, if I want to, hide it away or I can let it be on display. All the raw, uncut, human aspects of it. If God can use the jumbled heap of my life to speak to someone that they are not alone, then all of it is worth sharing...to anyone who may stumble across it!

The Time has Come...

Well, Alas, the time has come to take my blog private. Circumstances have occurred that make it necessary. If you are a reader of this blog, please let me know through email or facebook. It will remain public for a couple more weeks so that all readers can see this post. Then, you will have to be on my list & signed into your google account to read. Sorry for the inconvenience this may cause, but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do!