Dec. 30, 2008


So, a few of you have said you'd like the non condensed version of my battle lately. So here it is.
I lack discipline. In almost every area. I struggle with committing to something and following it though.
If its a struggle or takes determination, I fizzle out. I despise this about myself. This is the thing that was brought to me & I responded badly. I want to change this about myself. In weight loss, I want to have the guts to stick it out to see results. In my job, I want to finish what I start. I really don't know why I'm like this. Maybe its partial insecurity, but I refuse to lay blame anymore. This is something that cannot have a place in my life. I am tired of giving up, selling short & never crossing the finish line. I want results. I want accomplishment. I want success.
It is an unphill battle. But, I am getting up for the 1,000th time, brushing off the dirt and starting over. I can't change the past, but I can keep moving forward. Today is great for new beginnings. And so is tomorrow. He is faithful enough to pick me up, shake off the dust, speak life to me & push me on.

'Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.'- Hebrews 12:1

'Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training...Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. '- 1 Corinthians 9:25-28

p.s. As for the gym, what an experience. I was on the elliptical beside a 20 lb woman who had 1 drop of sweat the whole time. What came over me, I don't know, but I decided that I should be going her speed, so I did...for 10 minutes. When I got off, the room started to spin & my legs gave out from under me. A little embarassing. Why the heck was I trying to be like her? The common problem in women today. Arg! Anyways, I was better after a few minutes, and went on to use the other equipment, which I did pretty good on, thanks to my sister getting in my face (she is a lot like Jillian, actually). We then had a NICE!!
It was a good first time, i think. Time will tell. The crappy thing is having to be cautious of my back. My doctor wasn't thrilled about me going to a gym. He wanted me to go swimming instead. So after January, I'm going to re-assess the situation. What I might do is switch every month. One month at the pool, one month at the gym. We'll see. I'm also doing the DDR 3 times a week & Turbo Jam 3 times a week. Pray for me!!! :)

Dec. 28, 2008

Ok, friends, this might be a bit of a longer post since there is lots to say. I hope you can stay with me through the whole thing.

First, I had a good christmas. It was relaxing & fun, though I felt heavy hearted (hard to explain and which I don't feel like talking about here) but overall it was good. I always love being with my family. It is a cozy, safe & great place to be. Mark & I hosted Christmas Eve at our house. I made Spinach & Artichoke Dip, Apricot Almond Brie Dip, Sugar Bacon Smokies, Shrimp Dip, Meat & Cheese Platter, Cookies & More. It was yummers! Then we spent the night at my parents. We spent the morning with my parents, then Mark drove to Rupert with his dad to pick up his brother & his wife from the ferry. Then we all had christmas dinner back at his dads! We played Rock Band & had lots of fun. Boxing Day, we took Marks step brother with us & met up with Chris & Christy at Walmart for VERY early sale shopping! Soooo fun!!!!

Second, someone very close brought a stern discipline into my life which was very hard to take, but needed in a big way. I have a tendency to be very insecure when someone corrects me, because I feel like I'm worthless. Its my issue & I am learning to walk in God in this area. Anyways, It is an area that I want to change. It will hinder areas of my life if I let it. And I don't want it to. So that is something I am dealing with right now.

Third, I received a gift certificate for a gym for one month. I am really excited about this, for I am at a very big fork in the road when it comes to my health. I am excited to get control of this thing that has long been out of control. I am believing that His mercies are new EVERY morning! And I want to walk in the freedom that He has given me. So January begins a very hard and exciting adventure.

Ok, so that wasn't as long as I thought it would be. I would have expanded on subjects, but I'm not sure really how many really read this & if you'd even want to hear it, so this is the condensed version.

Love you all!

Dec. 24, 2008

Merry CHRISTmas!!

Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD
and delight in his salvation.
Psalm 35:9

Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.
Psalm 63:3

The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you;the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26

You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand
Psalm 16:11

Dec. 23, 2008

For my eyes have seen...

*Simeon's Moment by Ron DiCianni

Luke 2:22-32:

22When the time of their purification according to the Law of Moses had been completed, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord
23(as it is written in the Law of the Lord, "Every firstborn male is to be consecrated to the Lord"),
24and to offer a sacrifice in keeping with what is said in the Law of the Lord: "a pair of doves or two young pigeons."
(*Note: only the poor brought doves or pigeons, if they could not present a lamb as a sacrafice*) 25Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him.
26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ.
27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required,
28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:

29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss your servant in peace.
30For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
32a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel.

What I love so much about this story is that Mary & Joseph brought the poor man's offering to sacrafice, yet they had the Lamb, the greatest sacrafice of all.
And I can just picture Simeon, as he held Jesus in his arms to dedicate him.
'For my eyes have seen your Salvation!' WOW! I cry everytime I read that line. God had promised him that he would see the Saviour before he died, and in that moment, God fulfilled his promise. I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Dec. 19, 2008


'Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark."
-George Lles

Well, yesterday, emotionally I was spent. I think partially because I was battling with a bad stomach flu. And the thought of anything overwhelming was too much for me.

Today, I feel 100 times better. My head is screwed on tight.
I feel confident in my Fathers plan.
And I feel like I can rest in His perfect will!

Thanks for all your prayers &
for sticking beside me through my meltdowns!!
Love you!

*Picture taken from Facebook Graffiti Gallery

Dec. 17, 2008

Loss of Vision?

Proverbs 29:18
Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained'
New American Standard

'Without prophetic vision people run wild'
God's Word Translation

'Where there is no vision, the people perish'
King James

'Without a Vision is a people made naked'
Young Literals Translation

'Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint'
World English Bible

If people can't see what God is doing,
they stumble all over themselves
The Message

Lately, I find myself, grappling with the vision of God. I want to know Him. Really know Him. When I know my friends, I know what they think about everything.
We can finish each others sentences. I want to know God that way.
There are a many areas that are a battle for me. One is my infertility.
There is the side of me that says,
'Your will, Oh God! I want nothing more than your perfect will.'
Yet, the other side says,
'Just please don't let it include lifetime barreness!
Because I don't think I am strong enough for that road!'

vi⋅sion: the act or power of anticipating that which will or may come to be

I want the power to anticipate what will be!
I need to believe that I am not forgotten.
The journey of infertility is the hardest I've ever walked. Maybe, I'm callow to assume that.
Sometimes, its really hard to hear parents complain about how annoying their children are
(I'm not thinking specifics, friends!), cry out about the pain of wanting to have another child,
while my broken heart would give anything in the world to have that annoying child or have that womb that had carried a child before.

Please, don't be hurt by my honesty! I love you all & I really do rejoice when you conceive. I love all your children. Just sometimes, my heart hurts more than usual!

*Both pictures are from the Facebook Graffiti Gallery

Dec. 16, 2008

Oh, How He Loves Us!!

This song is climbing the charts of my all time favorites! And she is so incredible!!!

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

Cause He loves us,

Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves

Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died and You met me between my breaking
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony
...they want to tell me You're cruel
But if Stephen could sing, he'd say it's not true, cause...

Cause He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves us
Oh, how He loves

Dec. 15, 2008

Study of Christmas-Part 1

*picture by MyShoesAreOnFire

I have been studying the symbols of Christmas in the Nativity, in traditions, origins, etc...
So I thought I would share some with you.

Gold, Frankincense & Myrrh
brought by the Magi who came to see Jesus
Matthew 2:11

Gold- represents royalty. It symbolizes God as King.
Frankincense- was a resin used the anointing oil of priests. It symbolizes God as Priest
Myrrh- was used in embalming bodies. It symbolizes that Christ came to die.

What amazing gifts! They show Him as King, as Priest & as Saviour!!
What a story!

Dec. 13, 2008

Dream & Reality

*Taken from Starla

Dream Stocking

Tickets to anywhere..Ireland, British Virgin Islands
-A positive pregnancy test (which would make no sense really because I would have to pee on the stick...and then it wouldn't be a
-a camera (My stocking IS quite large)
-Keys to a our own house

Real Stocking

-a sheep wool guitar strap

Dec. 12, 2008

All about Mark...

*taken from Jenny

1.He's sitting in front of the television,what is on the screen? A Sword or Sandal Film (He calls it that) Gladiator, Braveheart, etc...

2.You're out to eat what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch or Caesar

3.What's one food he doesn't like? He is pretty Non-Picky, but he really really doesn't like meat that is bloody at all!

4.You go out to a bar what does he order? A glass of wine (I know, he's way too cool for me!)

5. Where did he go to high school? M.E.S.S

6.What shoe size does he wear? 9 or 10

7.If he was to collect anything what would it be? Well he does collect Books & DVD's. He is a voracious reader. He loves any movie with a redemption story.

8.What is his favourite type of sandwich? He's not a huge sandwich eater, but he likes my turkey, grilled pear & havarti sandwich.

9.What would he eat every day if he could? Ice cream , candy, Quesadillas

10.What is his favourite cereal? He doesn't eat cereal.

11.What would he never wear? A Sleeveless Shirt

12.What is his favourite sports team?Vancouver Canucks, because its Chris' favorite team.

13.Who did he vote for? You'll have to ask him.

14.Who is his best friend? Me

15.What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Oh my, I'm a keeper of things. I love to keep things from a million years ago. It drives him absolutely crazy!

16.How many provinces/states has he lived in? One.

17.What is his heritage? Irish & English

18.You bake him a cake for his birthday what would it be? Anything, he rejoices at the thought of anything sweet!

19.Did he play sports in high school? actually don't think he did.

20.What could he spend hours doing? Reading

21.What's something cool about him?
Oh my, I could go on forever. He is an incredible man. I'm not doing the whole poor-me thing, but I feel so inadequate to be with him some times. He is passionate, faithful, encouraging, thoughtful, hilarious & strong. He leads me well. He knows where I struggle and is so incredible at speaking life to my hopeless heart. I watch the way he is with people and I literally get a crush on him every time. He bestows worth on people. I see the way that he allows Jesus to be so visible in him wherever he is, and its so beautiful! I wonder sometimes if he even knows how incredible he is! He has walked the road with me for 7 years and dealt graciously with my mood swings, meltdowns, & massive character flaws. He has loved me when I was so undeserving of love. He has spurred me on in my own walk with Jesus, showing by example what a true life lived in Him can be. He wakes each morning carrying a weight that sometimes seems will take him out. But he walks victorious everyday because He knows his God. His greatest desire is not me, but to be made more like Jesus.
And I wouldn't, for anything, have it any other way!

21a. Whats something not cool about him?
He is has this weird ability of getting water all over the house! When he has a shower, he leaves a trail of water to the living room, then the bedroom then back to the bathroom. When he does the dishes, he splashes so much that there is water all over the floor, counters, wall! LOL! I honestly have no idea how he does it. But I can't complain at all, at least he does the dishes!

Dec. 11, 2008

Christmas Banquet

My Shirt

My Necklace

This is my hairstyle...hopefully!!! :)

My eye makeup...hopefully!

*Note* I do realize that there is no skirt posted...its cause I don't know what to wear yet...ugh!

Dec. 9, 2008

Tutorials galore!!

I've had a few people ask what tutorials I watch. I watch mostly beauty, hair, etc..
I thought I would post them for all you ladies to see!
The best so far on Youtube is
'MakeupGeekTV'. <--This link is her website, which has more links to her Youtube videos. Or you can go 'HERE', which is her Youtube channel. She is awesome. Love it!
This first one is how to have the illusion flawless skin:

This is a how-to on applying makeup 101:

This one is a how-to do Gwen Stefani makeup:

My favorite hair tutorials are:
Vavoom Style

Here are a few goodies:
(this is going to be my attempt for the christmas banquet!)

Dec. 4, 2008

My Christmas Wish List:

I've been itching to write songs and record them-

I'm so in love with Bob Ross.


Am I the only one with bargain makeup brushes.
They shed all over and feel like sandpaper.

*Those of you faithful readers will recognize a few of these items from last year!

Dec. 3, 2008

2 Choices

I've narrowed it down to 2 careers:
I am starting to look into starting a photography & design studio, being i would also design christmas cards, do photography art, etc...
(I would also like to make most of my own equipment)
So, I am looking at photography courses online, DIY photography studio websites, etc...

I'm also considering starting a small inhome preschool once we find
a new place with a area big enough for one.
I'm in the beginning steps; looking at regulations, licensing, curriculum,

Q: Do you have any insight at starting a small business, DIY websites, online courses, or anything that would help in this. Thanks!

Nov. 30, 2008

'Let no one come to you without leaving better & happier.
Better in heart, better in spirit, better in life!'

Today, I was amazed by my church family.
They gave above & beyond to a great need & I've never been so proud of them.

Those of you who gave, thank you! You are the hands & feet of Jesus!
You have shown His love in the most tangible way!
You are world changers!! And I am priviledged to know you!

Nov. 12, 2008

My Christmas To Do List (Links included):
1. *Decorate House (Put up lights, decorate window, hang christmas-ee wall hangings, etc...)
2. Do Shopping (I have ZERO completed)
3. Be Frugal & Creative with gifts.
4. Organize & Sort Storage Room (make wrapping accessories shelf)
5. Plan Christmas Eve Fondue (3 in total: broth or oil, cheese & chocolate...yumm!)
6. Make 3 very full Christmas mix CD's to play on rotation when feeling festive!!
7. Take a picture of Mark and I and make Christmas cards!
8. Send Christmas Pic Cards (if you want one, email me your mailing address)
9. Do Christmas Baking...for the first time ever!
10. Make some of my favorite recipes from my Nigella cookbook (Thank you K & K!!)
11. Contemplate hosting a yummer gourmet christmas potluck! (Any thoughts??)
* -completed

Nov. 11, 2008

Thank you!

Nov. 7, 2008

Awards- Part 3

Beautiful People Part 2-
Most Beautiful Man (other than Mark)
Colin Firth

Most Beautiful Man (who in all honesty could be my grandfather)

Sean Connery

Ethnic Beauties-
Gael Garcia Bernal

Will Smith

Most Beautiful Aussie
Heath Ledger

Honorable Mention-
Adam Garcia
Joseph Fiennes
Ioan Gruffudd
Christian Bale
Keith Urban
Ben Affleck
Gerard Butler
Ashton Kutcher
Orlando Bloom
Dermot Mulroney

Glam Guy-
David Beckham

Beautiful Funny Boys
Steve Carell - Hugh Grant- Adam Brody

Travis Wiebe