Sep. 18, 2009

Thanks to you

Wow...I am so grateful for all the encouragement that you all have given me the last couple days.
Its hard when you want to pour out all the contents of your heart but don't want to make matters worse. So, you bury it deep and it festers. Just being able to share that little bit, helped heaps! And, I feel like I can carry on. Mark & I were talking about this situation, and I shared that one of my greatest fears is that people will wrongly judge me or think that I am something that I'm not because of it. And so fear crept its way in and I placed myself in a cage again. One thing that Mark said to me last night is that my true friends, the friends that really love me are the ones who will deal with my failings and believe the best about me in spite of it.
That was a huge weight lifted off me. Sometimes it takes others to put it in perspective.

Thank you again for your words! They were like a healing salve to me. :)

Sep. 17, 2009

-I am hurting
-I am angry
-I hate feeling this way
-I want to scream
-I want to hide
-I want to become a recluse and never give my heart to anyone who could break it
-I know that this is nothing compared to what my Savior went through in my place
-I will suck it up, love anyways, and forgive even when people don't ask for it.
-I will smile...soon!

Sep. 14, 2009

Happy Birthday Leah!

My Baby Sister is 22 today!
She is the first miracle I ever witnessed. My mom lost 6 babies between Leah and I, as well as had her appendix removed while she was 4 months pregnant. The fact that she is in my life still amazes me! We have walked through so much and I couldn't ask for a better sister!
I love you so much, Lolee!