Sep 17, 2009

-I am hurting
-I am angry
-I hate feeling this way
-I want to scream
-I want to hide
-I want to become a recluse and never give my heart to anyone who could break it
-I know that this is nothing compared to what my Savior went through in my place
-I will suck it up, love anyways, and forgive even when people don't ask for it.
-I will smile...soon!

7 comments:

Gwen said...

Hey, Ruthie bo boothie.
1. Looking forward to seeing your smile again
2. Wondering what fleshly part of me always wants to hear the scoop whenever I read posts like this
3. Praying for you

Jenny said...

Oh Ruth, I'm not sure what is going on,but certainly hope you are feeling better soon.
Chin up girl...praying for you!
Big hugs

Dawn said...

I am sorry that you are dealing with this. I am praying for you. Keep smiling, you have a beautiful smile :)

Charlene said...

Definately couldn't have said it better myself! Love you Ruth!

Tanya said...

This too shall pass...but while you are wading through it...I will pray for you!

Lynnie Ha said...

love you, hun..... big (((((((HUGGLES)))))))
did ya feel it?
u are loved.

Anita said...

I was at the doctors office today and was reading a farming magazine from 1987 (really). There was a story about an elderly woman who had been farming for a zillion years and had one difficulty after another on personal and business levels. At the time of the article she was in her 80s and said something like, "I would never wish hardships on anybody, but by going through all I have gone through I've learned that the growth experienced by victoriously standing on the other side of hardship is worth so much more than a life of ease." She went on to talk about how she can say with a happy heart that she is proud of who she is and what she has learned, and wouldn't short change herself now by wishing life had been any different.

In my opinion you should:
-Let yourself hurt.
-Let yourself be angry.
-Don't hate what you feel, because you're feeling it for a reason.
-Scream as much as you want.
-Know that solitude is an important part of life and maybe you need to honor yourself and what YOU NEED by seeking solitude! (It is NOT being defeated or running away).

Sorry, the length of this is getting crazy... I just think its so important to let ourselves be who we are and feel what we need to feel. Some people will ALWAYS judge EVERYTHING we do. Really, there are some jerks out there... but we aren't living for them. This is YOUR life and YOUR journey.
Some people will never understand adversity, but I think that old lady was on to something... you can be proud of yourself when you get to the other side and you are more yourself then you have ever been...more confident, more lovely, more amazing then you already are.
PS: That makes everyone around you lucky too.