For the entirety of our marriage, we have been dealing with infertility. I can't say its at the forefront of our minds all the time, but some days are much harder than others.
Today, Sarena sent me a link to the blog of a woman who had lost 3 children at different stages of their lives. The grief that she went through is unbearable and yet she gained strength in God & became resilient. One of her friends came to her when her second child died & asked her this,
'Picture the Lord asking you if I are willing to accept a new trial for his glory. Are you willing to hurt in order to draw eyes and hearts toward Jesus? Are you willing to do God's work and suffer because he needs you to?' She says that she began to feel like an honored soldier. That really got me. How often through this journey have I whimpered & complained? So many times that I've lost count. I play the victim more often than I play the soldier. My heart has questioned God's plan for my life. Another friend put it in perspective for me. She said, 'Whatever it is, He WILL be glorified!'
I want my life to resound with the glory of God. If he wants to wait till I'm 100 so that I can laugh like Sarah (Genesis 21) or if chooses to close my womb for my lifetime, it will be for His glory. He promises to be faithful to complete the work He began in me (Philipians 1:6)
And so I've realized that hurting is not a bad thing. Even the wondering isn't a bad thing.
He wants me to not say 'Why are you doing this to me?' but 'What are you doing in me?'He wants me to rely on His strength, His promises, His faithfulness and to believe Him at His Word...
...He really is changing my heart!
'God is my strength, God is my song, and, yes! God is my salvation.
This is the kind of God I have and I'm telling the world!'
Exodus 15:2
'Know this with all your heart, with everything in you, that not one detail has failed of all the good things God, your God, promised you. It has all happened. Nothing's left undone—not so much as a word.'
Joshua 23:14
'Your love, God, is my song, and I'll sing it! I'm forever telling everyone how faithful you are. I'll never quit telling the story of your love— how you built the cosmos and guaranteed everything in it. Your love has always been our lives' foundation, your fidelity has been the roof over our world.'
Psalms 89:1
'The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The commandments of the Lord are right,
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
giving insight for living.
Reverence for the Lord is pure,
lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
each one is fair.
They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.'
Psalm 19:7-10
Today, Sarena sent me a link to the blog of a woman who had lost 3 children at different stages of their lives. The grief that she went through is unbearable and yet she gained strength in God & became resilient. One of her friends came to her when her second child died & asked her this,
'Picture the Lord asking you if I are willing to accept a new trial for his glory. Are you willing to hurt in order to draw eyes and hearts toward Jesus? Are you willing to do God's work and suffer because he needs you to?' She says that she began to feel like an honored soldier. That really got me. How often through this journey have I whimpered & complained? So many times that I've lost count. I play the victim more often than I play the soldier. My heart has questioned God's plan for my life. Another friend put it in perspective for me. She said, 'Whatever it is, He WILL be glorified!'
I want my life to resound with the glory of God. If he wants to wait till I'm 100 so that I can laugh like Sarah (Genesis 21) or if chooses to close my womb for my lifetime, it will be for His glory. He promises to be faithful to complete the work He began in me (Philipians 1:6)
And so I've realized that hurting is not a bad thing. Even the wondering isn't a bad thing.
He wants me to not say 'Why are you doing this to me?' but 'What are you doing in me?'He wants me to rely on His strength, His promises, His faithfulness and to believe Him at His Word...
...He really is changing my heart!
'God is my strength, God is my song, and, yes! God is my salvation.
This is the kind of God I have and I'm telling the world!'
Exodus 15:2
'Know this with all your heart, with everything in you, that not one detail has failed of all the good things God, your God, promised you. It has all happened. Nothing's left undone—not so much as a word.'
Joshua 23:14
'Your love, God, is my song, and I'll sing it! I'm forever telling everyone how faithful you are. I'll never quit telling the story of your love— how you built the cosmos and guaranteed everything in it. Your love has always been our lives' foundation, your fidelity has been the roof over our world.'
Psalms 89:1
'The instructions of the Lord are perfect,
reviving the soul.
The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
The commandments of the Lord are right,
bringing joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are clear,
giving insight for living.
Reverence for the Lord is pure,
lasting forever.
The laws of the Lord are true;
each one is fair.
They are more desirable than gold,
even the finest gold.
They are sweeter than honey,
even honey dripping from the comb.'
Psalm 19:7-10
3 comments:
Oh to be a friend bold enough to challenge someone who is hurting so much! We need these people and we need to strive to be these people! I'm so glad God spoke to you today Ruth!
Ruthie... You are such an incredible example of honesty and vulnerability...
"He will surely be gracious to you at the sound of your cry." - Isaiah 30:19
Love you tons... xoxox C
Commit your way unto the Lord; trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. (Ps. 37:5)
You're always in my prayers. Is anything too hard for the Lord?
Post a Comment